Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Sucking

       I looked like shit today. I will be the first to own it. First of all my work uniform is heinous. Nothing about a polo is even remotely flattering. And because work shirts tend to be one size fits NO ONE I have to get a size that is tight around my bust and loose everywhere else. Most days I can improve on this with hair and make up but today was not one of those days. I had no make up on my face and my unwashed hair was so greasy that I couldn't even keep it up because it kept sliding out of its elastic. So needless to say, I wasn't beating the men off with a stick.
      When I walked past a group of four guests, three women and one man, I gave a cordial "good morning" and a smile. Only the gentleman even acknowledged that I spoke. I don't mean he was the only one who replied or smiled back, but genuinely the only one who even registered that I was a human being on this earth as opposed to the ladies who could not even deign to lower themselves to look at me. As previously established I wasn't particularly foxy today so it's not even like he was hitting on me. He was just being polite. Why on earth would these women I've never met before and thus never could hav possibly offended, not do the same?
       Women are mean. Women are bitches. It really is true. I'd like to be all "rah, rah, girl power, solidarity sisters!" But the honest truth is, there is no solidarity. Women (yes I'm generalizing) tend to view other women as opponents, rivals, something to be looked down upon. I commented on this in one of my earliest blogs and said that the concept of "frenemies" is something that only women have. And it's true.
       Women judge and build up preconceived notions of who other women are. I had a friend tell me recently that she didn't like me when we first met. She didn't speak to me for three weeks when I first started working with her, how can you dislike someone you have never spoken to? One of my lifelong friends told me that when we were 11 she thought I was a snob bc I looked at the sky when I walked and my hair bounced. My hair has a mind of it's own. It bounces. That doesn't make me a snob. Granted she is one of my closest and oldest friends now but this friendship may have never happened, simply because my hair bounces.
        I had really hoped that as I got older these petty problems that plagued me in my teens and early twenties as far as friendships with women would disappear but I realize now that it's not a maturity issue but a society issue. As long as women look at each other as rivals or such, there doesn't leave much room for healthy friendships and relationships. Now obviously I have some female friends that mean the world to me, so I know it's not every single lady on this earth. But as a whole, girls, you suck...

Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Lady Friends

      Recently my roommate and his booty call.... I don't want today got in an argument because that implies more emotion than he actually exerts on her, I suppose "got into a disagreement" is the best phrase for it. The next day, BAM! A friend request on my Facebook pops up from none other than the booty call. Now I've known this girl about two months now, she had been coming over for dinner and movies before they had ever even talked. (She's a friend of an acquaintance) I've cooked for her, I attempted to make conversation with her and overall been pretty nice to her. She's rebuffed all my overtures. She claims that I "make her uncomfortable" and tells my roommate that I "hate her". Because obviously me inviting her out, just me and her is a clear signal for hatred.
      So it was pretty obvious to me that the timing of her FINALLY reaching out to me came at a time in which she wasn't sure of her position in my roommates life. (Sidenote, I rejected her facebook friend request. Don't try to play me honey, I was practically in middle school when you were born) Why do women think they can manipulate the females in their men's lives and furthermore why do they think other women are oblivious to what they are doing?
       Same roommate has an ex living in a different country. They talk off and on and are still social media friends. One day I posted a picture of him from our hike and apparently she went mental that some other girl posted a picture of him. By himself. Fully clothed. In nature. Well her bunny boiling behavior caused him to (sadly only temporarily) block her on Facebook. A few days later I posted pictures of a group of us and tagged one of our friends who she is also friends with. She went on and liked every picture in the album her ex was in. Like. A. Crazy. Person. Then I woke up to a friend request from HER.
       Now if I was actually involved with her ex, one would assume that I would know who she is and NOT want to be her friend. And like is true, since I'm not romantically involved with her ex but in fact am friends with him and know who she is, I am CREEPED OUT and do NOT want to be her friend.
        I don't understand the agenda of someone being so obsessive that they feel the need to reach out to total strangers with hints o' creepy. But furthermore ladies, just because I am a girl who is friends with sex friend/boyfriend/other does NOT mean that I want to be your friend or that I will placidly help you commit creepery. The transitive property does not apply to my friendship. If I don't like you, I don't like you, regardless of who you are letting in your pants. Just ask many of e exes my friends have had over the years....

And in case you were wondering, crazy ex went on to be EVEN creepier and made a conjoined couples facebook for her and her EX boyfriend without his knowledge and friend requested me from that one too. I rejected that one as well....

Stay sane ladies. Stay sane.