Shit I Wish Girls Knew About the Green Eyed Monster

I've always liked to think that I am not a jealous person. Partly, this is because I tend to think I am so much more intelligent than other people and really what else do you need? (Aside from a healthy dose of modesty, which clearly I lack) In relationships I don't get jealous because if someone is going to cheat on you, they aren't worth your time. I don't have any sort of keeping up with the Joneses envy, so I never begrudge anyone their newest toys or gadgets.  Recently though I have a been visited by the green eyed monster.

I accept that this is not a very attractive quality and I have been trying to tamp down on my jealousy (pretty unsuccessfully I may add) but in all this attempted self improvement and  psychoanalysis is has occurred to me, do I really want this thing or do I merely just want someone else to NOT have it? When I needed to find a home for my cats, a girl I was not very fond of wanted to take one. And I did NOT want her to have it. (She wanted to change the cat's name to something stupid and a bit racist) But was it really fair for me to send the cat to a worse fate in a shelter rather than let this girl have it? Would I rather throw the rest of my sandwich away than share it with someone I am not close buddies with? So why doom a person you may only be marginally romantically interested in to loneliness merely because you don't want them to be with someone else or to be with them yourself?

Sometimes we as people need to step back and evaluate our motives and feelings. Instead of reacting to the instant slap of jealousy, take a moment and figure out why you feel that way. Then, punch that green eyed monster right back in the face.

Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Making an Ass Out of You and Me

Recently a good friend of mine directed his semi new girlfriend to my blog to read. She confused me with a girl he had "dated" in the past and had some not so nice comments about what she read. He had assumed she would find it funny and that we would really get along but she came in prepared to hate me for the imagined crime of having been with her man. 

Girls are the queens of making assumptions. I do it all the time. I make snap judgements about people. Which, while still not good, is still better than going in with a preconceived notion of someone based on what you have heard. Gossip, in a shocking twist, is not always accurate and it isn't fair to hate someone based on a lie. I have been told many "facts" about myself, that were known by everyone but me. There is nothing more frustrating than being told you did something when you know that you haven't but having no one believe you because they have HEARD IT. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm completely okay with justified hatred. I tend to hate most people in fact. But it's a whole different ball game to hate someone pbased on assumptions. And you know what they say when you assume...

(PS to the new girlfriend, yes I do think quite highly of myself and no I'm not that weird...)

Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Sour Milk

Imagine you walk to the fridge, grab the milk, take a big ole swig and it's sour. Do you cap it, put it back on the shelf and save it for another day? So ladies, why do you do this with men? Sour milk isn't going to magically unexpire in the fridge and an asshole isn't going to magically morph into a nice guy. 

(I'm hypocritically posting this blog by request, as a friend of mine has fallen back into the pattern of ex sex)

Recently I sat down with my ex to have a serious heart to heart and like an idiot, all my old feelings came rushing back. He said all the right things, exactly what I wanted to hear and then two days later he walked out of my life again. (I will say in his defense, he cruised out of my life, as the company switched his ship) Here I am, left behind like a fool because I was stupid enough to get reinvolved with someone who had already hurt me. 

I've said it before and I will say it again, exes are exes for a reason. It didn't work out, it's not going to work out, so stop going back to the fridge for sour milk. It's only going to make you sick in the end...

Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Blow Up Dolls

If a guy wants a blow up doll, he can go buy one. If he's talking to you don't pretend to be stupid just to sleep with him. (Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some of you are just stupid) I have the misfortune of hearing one of the same four conversations from the same person every time I go to the bar. I think that's her game. Now, I do think she swims in the more shallow end of the gene pool, however I think she plays up how stupid she is to get booty. And it works for her. But she is a big ho, because once it's over nobody goes back for a second time around. If she is looking for quantity rather than quality than she is on the right track. But the novelty of a blow up doll wears off rather quickly and so does the novelty of a girl that has nothing more to offer than the doll. After all, look at Jessica Simpson. 

Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Shady Bitches

Recently one of my friends hooked up with a guy she liked. He's a nice guy and her type of good looking. In any other situation this would be a win. However this time, it cost her a friend. Why? Not because she did anything wrong, but because girls are shady bitches. 

This guy and her have a mutual good friend who the guy spends a lot of time with. My friend has asked the other girl on numerous occasions if she was romantically interested in the guy. Shady Girl has always said no and that they are just friends. He has said the same. So my friend assumed the path was clear there and one night without any pre-planning, it went down. 

Shady Girl found out and was furious. She refused to speak to my friend for days and when she finally did she claimed MF "should have known" that she liked the guy.  WTF?!? When did MF become a mind reader? If you ask a FRIEND about their feelings for someone then they owe you the courtesy of honesty. If they aren't honest with you, then they should only be angry with themselves. For being a sketchy liar. 

The absurdity of this was enough to label this girl Shady Bitchy, but unfortunately it doesn't end there. Despite her refusal to talk to my friend, she continued on like nothing happened with the guy. Heads up ladies, it takes two to tango. If, after the fact, you are going to refer to yourself as "together" with a guy, wouldn't he be equally if not more culpable than the friend who you said nothing was happening to?

Why do women do this? If you are going to let some guy treat you like crap then isn't only fair that their friends are allowed to treat them the same? If you are going to lie straight to your friends face, does she really owe you anything? All of this could have been avoided with a little honesty or barring that, a little understanding after the fact. If nothing else, at least tar the guy with the same brush you've dropped a friend for. 

But no, women are shady. And bitches.