Recently a friend brought it to my attention that the romantic details I share about my life seem, well a little far-fetched at times. He expressed surprise that so many odd relationship things could happen to one person. So I just wanted to take time to assure everyone, yes my stories are all real. I would like to pretend that I have the imagination to make it up or that I don't have what appears to be the shittiest luck in the man department. But I do.
Some of you read my blog for the laugh. You have your settled lives and adult level maturity and my blog provides levity and gives you a chance to step back from your reality and appreciate what you have. Good for you, you assholes. For the rest of you, the shitshows if you will, you are welcome. Please read and enjoy the fact that you are not alone in being a hot mess. In fact, I am probably more of a hot mess than you. Foreign men, shattered watches and many, many poor decisions are the hallmarks of my relationships.
Remember folks, it could always be worse. You could always be me.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Serial Killers
I have a sick obsession with serial killers. I love true crime movies and books. I watch a stupid amount of scary movies for a woman who lived alone for a long time. I sometimes think I should go back to school for an abnormal psych degree and get some sort of job psychoanalyzing these people. There is just one little problem. If some of these sick freaks tried to blame a tough childhood for their violent sprees, I would laugh in their face. And then probably get murdered. So you can see why I hesitate.
Lots of people have tough childhoods. They don't all grow up to be serial killers. (We hope!) Now I get the whole cycle of abuse thing, children of abusers tend to grow up to be abusers themselves etc. But at some point, you need to grow up and stop blaming a shitty childhood for being a shitty adult.
Same goes for relationships. Just because you got cheated on, doesn't mean you can claim some sort of damage that causes you to be a ruthless cheater now. I do get that things happen to undermine your confidence while in a relationship but unless you are still with the person that brought you down, get over it. You cannot start a new relationship with baggage from an old one. You definitely cannot be mad at your new boyfriend about something the old one did. LET IT GO. Whether it is a tough childhood, something you lost at, a crappy relationship. Whatever it is, its time has passed. Move on.
No seriously, let it go.
Lots of people have tough childhoods. They don't all grow up to be serial killers. (We hope!) Now I get the whole cycle of abuse thing, children of abusers tend to grow up to be abusers themselves etc. But at some point, you need to grow up and stop blaming a shitty childhood for being a shitty adult.
Same goes for relationships. Just because you got cheated on, doesn't mean you can claim some sort of damage that causes you to be a ruthless cheater now. I do get that things happen to undermine your confidence while in a relationship but unless you are still with the person that brought you down, get over it. You cannot start a new relationship with baggage from an old one. You definitely cannot be mad at your new boyfriend about something the old one did. LET IT GO. Whether it is a tough childhood, something you lost at, a crappy relationship. Whatever it is, its time has passed. Move on.
No seriously, let it go.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Superman
I semi recently made a friend who has a little brother he lives with. Aforementioned little brother is kind of a hot mess. Yet I really like him. I have this weird urge to be his friend. My friend made a joke about him needing a good influence and I thought "Me! I could be a good influence". But why? Why do I seem to have this Superman complex, where I feel the need to save people?
This is such a common situation among us with the double X chromosome. Women have a habit of falling for a guy they want to "save". Women convince themselves that all these men need is a steady influence and they will stop using/drinking/sucking at life or finally get a job. Flash forward. The sponge is now living off your income and using it to finance his alcohol binges. You cannot change someone who doesn't want to be saved.
Now I don't mean to say that you should refuse to help someone who needs help. But someone who is going through a rough patch and genuinely needs help is different than someone who doesn't see a problem with their shitty lifestyle. You are not an ATM or a parole officer or a psychiatrist (and if you are, do you really want to date your work?). Date someone for the fact that they bring out the best in you, not because it would be what is best for them.
Now I know this is easier said than down. While I have never wanted to date a fixer upper, that doesn't mean I'm not often tempted to swoop in and save the day. I just have to step back and realize I am not a superhero, out to save the world. Even though I do sometimes wear a cape ;)
This is such a common situation among us with the double X chromosome. Women have a habit of falling for a guy they want to "save". Women convince themselves that all these men need is a steady influence and they will stop using/drinking/sucking at life or finally get a job. Flash forward. The sponge is now living off your income and using it to finance his alcohol binges. You cannot change someone who doesn't want to be saved.
Now I don't mean to say that you should refuse to help someone who needs help. But someone who is going through a rough patch and genuinely needs help is different than someone who doesn't see a problem with their shitty lifestyle. You are not an ATM or a parole officer or a psychiatrist (and if you are, do you really want to date your work?). Date someone for the fact that they bring out the best in you, not because it would be what is best for them.
Now I know this is easier said than down. While I have never wanted to date a fixer upper, that doesn't mean I'm not often tempted to swoop in and save the day. I just have to step back and realize I am not a superhero, out to save the world. Even though I do sometimes wear a cape ;)
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