"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt
Most of my blog post ideas come from real life. Usually my own life, as I have enough material for an infinite amount of posts. Sometimes I post about the lives of my friends. Today my post was inspired, largely in part, to a movie. I have had the idea for this post in my brain for a while, but I have been letting it ruminate around in my mind. Then yesterday it really struck home with me and today the movie I watched clinched it.
Anyone who has ever been to high school has, at one point, felt insecure and self conscious to some degree. But what about the rest of your life? Isn't it supposed to get better? Sadly it doesn't work that way. Nobody hands you a road map to the rest of your life with your diploma. And unfortunately, those people who made you feel bad about yourself? They graduated too. No matter where you are, there is always going to be someone trying to tear you down.
The sad reality, however, is that it is not always the expected source hurting you. Everyone has a friend who takes advantage of them. It is natural in any relationship. Someone is the giver, someone is the taker. Eventually the giver ends up giving up their own happiness. Because that is the truth. Nobody can take from you something you aren't willing to give.
If you have ever read my blog before then you are familiar with the ups and downs of my love life, including the smashing of the watch. Recently I have been trapped in an environment with the watch owner. And like a fool I got sucked right back in. And where did this leave me? In the same place I was before. I willingly gave him an opening and he smashed right in and hurt me. But who is the bigger idiot in this picture? Yes he treated me poorly. But I LET HIM. I made that decision and it came right back and bit me on the ass. Now hopefully I have learned my lesson.
Sadly, it isn't only men who treat us badly. I would estimate that most of a female's insecurity comes from girl on girl mind violence. This is the whole concept of frenemies. What the fuck is a frenemy? Men don't have frenemies. If they don't like someone, they just don't hang out with them. Simple as that. Why the hell can't women do that?
Recently I had a serious heart to heart with someone (see, occasionally I can possess a bit of a soul) about how sad they were and how they felt friendless. Eventually I just told her that yes her friends do suck, but there is nothing she can do to change that. Either get over it or get new friends. Nobody is ever going to wake up one day and stop being an asshole. It just doesn't work that way, no matter what Hollywood wants us to believe. If someone uses you they are just going to just keep on using you until YOU put a stop to it.
So ladies, put your damn foot down. You are not a floor mat, nobody can walk all over you. Stop letting people treat you poorly because eventually that becomes your standard and most of you deserve better than that. Remember you cannot change other people but you can change yourself. So get up and walk away.
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