I semi recently made a friend who has a little brother he lives with. Aforementioned little brother is kind of a hot mess. Yet I really like him. I have this weird urge to be his friend. My friend made a joke about him needing a good influence and I thought "Me! I could be a good influence". But why? Why do I seem to have this Superman complex, where I feel the need to save people?
This is such a common situation among us with the double X chromosome. Women have a habit of falling for a guy they want to "save". Women convince themselves that all these men need is a steady influence and they will stop using/drinking/sucking at life or finally get a job. Flash forward. The sponge is now living off your income and using it to finance his alcohol binges. You cannot change someone who doesn't want to be saved.
Now I don't mean to say that you should refuse to help someone who needs help. But someone who is going through a rough patch and genuinely needs help is different than someone who doesn't see a problem with their shitty lifestyle. You are not an ATM or a parole officer or a psychiatrist (and if you are, do you really want to date your work?). Date someone for the fact that they bring out the best in you, not because it would be what is best for them.
Now I know this is easier said than down. While I have never wanted to date a fixer upper, that doesn't mean I'm not often tempted to swoop in and save the day. I just have to step back and realize I am not a superhero, out to save the world. Even though I do sometimes wear a cape ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment