Despite being a heinous bitch, I am oddly compassionate. If someone seems to be in a bad mood, I try to cheer them up. If someone is hungry, I whip them up an elaborate meal. And if someone is a shitty friend, I put in so much effort to improve our friendship. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
This past winter I found myself in a situation with few friends. (See aforementioned heinous bitch comment) Most of my coworkers were older than me and none of them were native English speakers. Many of my jokes are highly sarcastic and if English isn't your first language they tend to fall flat. It made for a rough few months. There was one person at work who was around my age and being from England, got all of my sarcasm. But this person was a flake. No matter how amazing I was, he was always hesitant to make plans, citing that he "doesn't do that" even though I would overhear him plan making with other people. I found myself in the situation where I was often (about 93% of the time haha) the one calling him or seeking him out. This would seem like a desperate for love type ploy, except that it was strictly platonic and I was just desperate for a friend. I did meet other people, but foolish me, I was consumed with the need to make this person a good friend and missed out on other amazing friendship opportunities. And all this got me was snorkelling alone on my birthday. Lesson learned.
Sadly this wasn't my first foray into the unfair world of give and take. Right before that I had been in a long distance relationship. Humbly, I will say that I was an awesome LDR girlfriend. I sent cards and gifts, was available for Skype pretty much all the time and would never call my boyfriend out on his bullshit, because I was convinced that since we only got a little time together over webchat, I didn't want to waste it fighting. Yeah, I was THAT GIRL. And in this end, this one came back to bite me in the ass as well. In the form of rampant unfaithfulness.
If you are giving 90%, then that person only needs to give ten, not another ninety. There is no need for them to waste their time when you are so clearly already available to them. Why exude energy being a good friend/boyfriend/whatever when it takes so much less effort to be sucky and you keep coming back for more anyway?
If someone sucks in a relationship, it is THEIR fault, not YOURS. Do not fall prey to feeling like you are not enough for them. They are the ones lacking. If someone truly values you, they should want to make you happy not drag you down. So if you find yourself the victim of an emotional parasite, RUN AWAY. You are so much better than that, even if you are sort of a douche, like me. There will always be someone out there who loves you anyway. (I am not even going to mention monetary parasite, assuming all of my readers are smart enough to keep themselves out of that situation) Do not let anyone drain you of your happiness, because in the end its not going to make them better, it is just going to make you worse.
Though I will end with, someone needs to inform my siblings of the give and take standard, otherwise I am totally going to stop buying them gifts.
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