A good man friend of mine is getting married soon. Another friend of mine is in the wedding party. He is quite upset that the bride to be has banned strippers from the bachelor party. As has the best man's girlfriend. And "quite upset" is putting it mildly. And believe it or not, I agree for several reasons.
First of all, when I get married, there had better be a Channing Tatum-in-Magic-Mike exotic dancer wannabe thrusting his oiled self all in my business to some trashy nineties song. (Please make note and make this happen best friends. Don't forget in the next thirty years it takes me to find a man) That's right. I said it. I want a stripper. Strippers are HILARIOUS. Bonus points if my friend can find me a midget stripper a la Tucker Max or Chelsea Handler. Because that would be even funnier. Strippers, ladies, are entertainment! Yes there is a whole legion of men who haunt strip clubs and creepishly envision themselves with the dancers. But more than likely (and I hope) you are not marrying one of the those men. So stop being so jealous and let your man have some fun. Chances are your fellow is going to be more embarrassed or shy than anything else. And if you're really worried (well then you shouldn't be marrying someone you don't trust, but that is a topic for another blog post) then send along a brother or stern older cousin to keep an eye for you.
My other viewpoint on it is this. When you are telling someone they are not allowed to do something, that implies they need your permission. Girls, there is a HUGE difference between being a wife and a mother. Your boyfriend/fiance/eff buddy that you desperately want to be something more/whatever DOES NOT NEED TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION. You are more than welcome to express your opinion and if it differs from his, sit down and discuss it. Maybe you are not comfortable with strippers and he doesn't really want to spend the extra three grand so all your lame cousins can have plus ones. COMPROMISE folks! Banning things from your boy usually ends in two ways. Imagine you really want to buy some beautiful accessory of your choice (I myself am a shoe gal), with your own money and your beau tells you no way. He doesn't allow it. Of course your back is going to go up. If this happens over and over again, eventually you are going to get resentful. Resentful people do not make for happy relationships. Or, due to extreme peer pressure and ribbing from his friends, he may decide to sneak the strippers behind your back. And if he already has to lie about having them, then what's another lie about kissing them? Or about any other thing he has to sneak down the line?
Remember, you are not their mothers. Once in a while, they may do something you do not like. Discus it like rational adults and give in sometimes. You can't always win. A relationship is about give and take not rules and saying no.
So ladies, if your men want to get dirty stripper sweat all over them, give them some singles and say have at it! Just make sure they get vaccines after.
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