The above photo is proof of my craziness. And committing this story to internet fame means I will probably never get another date again. But that is just how much I love all of you.
When Taylor Swift breaks up with a guy, she writes a song about it. It may seem a little wacky but it helps her move on. And moving on is very important. So for once, I will endorse insane woman behavior and encourage post breakup psychopathia. Now I am not saying because a crazed hermit her spends all of her time Facebook stalking (or real life stalking) her ex, but some happy middle ground between Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" will do you good.
My ex boyfriend was a douche. I know most women will say this, but mine actually really was. A lot of men in my life I can say are good people, they are just not right for me. This guy is actual scum of the earth. One night after a particularly irksome email, I hurled his watch against the floor. And the back popped off. And it felt GOOD. Granted reality set in and so did the notorious Catholic guilt. I was going to buy him a new watch. But when I brought it with me on vacation to meet up with him, the reunion did not go as planned. He was cheating on me. While I was there. We were together for one week out of six months and he couldn't keep it in his pants for that one week. When I realized what was going on, I was immediately consumed with the rage that only a true Irish-Italian Bostonian can feel. This time merely throwing his watch was not enough. I smacked it against the table and when that proved ineffective against quality craftsmanship my friend stuck it under the leg of the bed and then jumped on the bed. And man, did it feel good. (As did sticking all of the pieces in an envelope and giving them back to him later)
For my male readers out there, you are probably now horrified at this stage. (Just like eating your feelings, men will never get it) But I am a firm believer in a good emotional catharsis. So however you choose to move on be it destruction of goods, burning of all of his photos (not that I have done that too), or just blasting Taylor Swift revenge music and crying into your ice cream (okay, okay I am guilty of all three) do something to help yourself move on. It is so much healthy to have a brief burst of crazy than to dwell for months. And for goodness sake, change out of your pajamas and stop stalking him on Facebook. In fact, unfriend him right now. Then maybe buy a Zippo, just in case.
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