I don't think I am particularly easy to annoy. I have spent the past five years or so working with children (and foreigners), which I think means I am a fairly patient individual. However there are things that ladies do/say that REALLY get under my skin. Which I figure means it annoys the world in general. Which means you should stop doing it.
1. Using the phrase "I am a really good listener". REALLY?!? Did you just listen to yourself sound like a douchebag? I either want to tell you or I don't. Assuring me that you are a good listener just reassured me that I fact, do not want to.
2. Calling someone "my man" or "my boo" or any derivative of this. Yes, those are your shoes. Yes that is your handbag. I am pretty sure however that any fellow human being belongs to themselves. (I am okay with definitive ownership such as MY sister, MY cousin or even MY boyfriend. But he's his own man.)
3. Starting a sentence with "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone but..." Oh you weren't supposed to tell anybody? THEN DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Are you out there spilling my secrets to the world to? Saying this to me pretty much guarantees I will never tell you anything again. The only exceptions to this rule are spouses, roommates and if your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on them.
4. Talking on the phone while ordering food/going through a check out line/in the dressing room. Oh are you solving the national debt or curing cancer? No? Then put the goddamn phone down. It can wait. Not only does nobody need to hear your private business, it is incredibly rude to not acknowledge the fellow human being trying to serve you.
5. Pretending they're stupid. How is this still happening? I get some females are literally just stupid (Don't get me wrong, some men are too) but even more ignorant than actually being dumb is pretending to be so guys will have an interest in. If he's too unintelligent to appreciate how smart you are then he A. Doesn't deserve you and B. Will probably bore you to tears anyway. Stop doing this. Females everywhere are ashamed of you.
6. Wearing those bras with the clear plastic straps. We can still see them.
7. Saying "I'm not trying to be mean but..." or "No offense but...". YOU'RE ONLY DOING IT TO BE MEAN OR OFFENSIVE. And that's fine by me, but at least own up to it.
8. I shouldn't admit this one because people used to do it to me all the time just to irritate me but, texting someone and then never responding when they answer. It's especially grating when it's a message like "guess what?" Bitch you just asked a question! Why would you put the phone down? You had to know an answer was coming!
9. And lastly, saying you were too busy to answer a text. I get that in the moment I texted you, you may have been otherwise occupied. However I refuse to believe you literally are busy for the rest of your life and cannot EVER respond. Therein lies the beauty of text messaging. It sits there waiting until you are ready for it. Just freaking respond. Even if it is just "lol"
I'm sure there are more. Everyone has their own annoyances but I feel these are so universally irksome that it baffles me people still do/say them. (Except for the bra thing. That could just be me)
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