Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Snooping

          Ten years ago (this very month!) my best friend and I embarked on a very exciting school trip to DC. We decided that we hadn't paid all that money just to hang out with the same old people from school and so we plopped ourselves at a random breakfast table with students from other places. One of the students was a very cute guy from the good ole Lone Star state. We became friends and stayed in touch even after the trip was over.  One day while checking my email I came across one from the Lone Star cutie's girlfriend. She was highly unimpressed by our friendship and had some not very flattering things to say. I wrote back and apologized and explained we were just friends but that if it bothered her I would stop talking to him. She ended up apologizing and we all went on our merry way.
           While yes, it was immature of her to snoop through his messages and attack me, she did man up and apologize. And also at this time she was only SIXTEEN. You are allowed to be immature at that age. Fast forward to nowadays and it isn't so acceptable. I woke up this morning to a less than complimentary FB message (my how times have changed!) from a long time friend's girlfriend. I have never met this person but I had heard about her from my friend. In man friendships it is very common to give each other a lot of shit. He gave me some shit about my boyfriends and naturally I had to give him some back about his girlfriend. We both laughed it off, because we know it was all good natured. She apparently read his messages and did not feel it was good natured. She then proceeded to ask me while I stay in contact with "her man". (Side note I actively hate the phrase "my man". He's a person, not a pair of shoes)
        So many things are wrong with this entire situation. First of all, don't read other peoples messages. Nothing good can ever come of that. And I am vehemently opposed to the snooping through of your boyfriends'/girlfriends' messages. If you don't trust someone else enough to not creep through their messages then you obviously shouldn't be with them. If for whatever reason you accidentally peruse their messages and come across messages from the opposite gender you are ONLY allowed to be mad if the message contains something like "Thanks for the sex last night!/BJs later today?/You're so much better in bed than so and so". You are NOT allowed to be mad at messages like "I really miss the fast food/junk food in MA" or "I'm happy that you think you're girlfriend is a keeper! You deserve it!"
        Then, once you've snooped and discovered something that apparently fills you with rage the next logical thing to do is to talk it out with YOUR BOYFRIEND! Not some girl you have never met before and who did nothing wrong. Why do girls always take it out on other girls? Shouldn't you be angry with the man who betrayed you (not in this scenario, he did nothing wrong. Just in general) instead of a girl who doesn't know you? Then of course in typical girl move, to make yourself feel better you must hurl insults at the other women. Does putting someone else down magically make you feel better? (And in instances of cheating wouldn't that make you feel worse? She's so dumb/ugly/fat/whatever but he still picked her to cheat with) When I first read the messages I felt sad for this gal and tried to comfort her. The nastier she got, the less sympathetic I felt. (She was quick to inform me he called me "one of the guys" to reference how unattractive he found me. If she knew me at all, she would know I consider being one of the guys a compliment.)
          The nail in the coffin for me was when she informed me it was MY fault they were fighting. Call me ugly all you want, but this sent me over the edge. Ladies. Exhibiting stalker ish behavior and then causing a fight with your boyfriend is NO ONE'S fault but your own. Did I make you read his messages? No. Did I make you then confront him about it? Nope. Did I log into your Facebook account and send myself hostile messages? Pretty sure that as also you. So I'm gonna place the blame squarely on you here chachi.
         I know that jealousy is a natural emotion and we all can't help feeling it. But you CAN help acting on it. When you snoop, it's because you expect to find something. But like they say, people who eavesdrop rarely overhear flattering remarks. Put the phone down ladies and remember you are better than snooping! And if there IS something going on, he's not worth your time anyway!

I know this lovely lady doesn't read my blog but if she did, I would like her to know she cannot be mad I compared her to Snooki and then act like trash. And to my friend, if you are in fact reading this, you asked me to leave you alone for awhile so you could "fix it". Want my advice? You can't fix crazy...