My good friend once set me up on what I now lovingly refer to as "the blind date from hell". She had been hyping this guy for a month or two and finally made it happen. It was arranged as part of a group date with her and her fiance, her roommate and her roommate's date. We went to a haunted corn maze at a Halloween themed park. I had never been on a blind date before and was a little apprehensive about getting to know someone in that situation. The boys came over a little earlier than we had planned to leave and what followed goes down in history as one of the more awkward experiences of my life. I am pretty sure after the initial introductions my "date" didn't speak to me again for easily twenty minutes. Then stuffed into the back seat I, being the natural chatterbox, began to attempt conversation. I found out he was an engineer and was elated. Due to the large amount of engineering students I knew, this was a topic I could pretend to chat knowingly about. He was not interested. I tried asking him about his family. Nothing. Questioned him about his mission (he was Mormon) and found out he didn't go on one. Finally I gave up. This pattern of complete and utter lack of interest in anything about me carried well through the date, starting with my buying my own ticket. (Apparently this is a big faux paus in the LDS filled land of Utah) I pretty much disengaged thirty minutes into our hours long date. Aside from pretty delicious kettle corn and actually having conversations with the other girl's date, there were not a lot of positives. The park only had port-a-potties and I broke the zipper on my pants. (Yes, rationally I know these things aren't his fault, but I am blaming him anyway) Overall, not a first date made in heaven.
Many people go into first dates with the completely wrong goal. You are never going to fall in love with someone on the first date. So stop trying to get to know everything about them and telling them every little detail of your mundane existence. Because, really, THEY DO NOT CARE. You shouldn't be trying to seek out the real them, you should be trying to score a second date.
As shallow as it seems, if you aren't attracted to someone, you probably aren't going to want a second date. If you walk in and sit down and don't immediately want to jump their bones, that's okay. Don't scorn them right away. Let them use this opportunity to win you over with their wit and charm. Personalities can take so-so looks and raise them to uber-hotness. Even if you aren't normally witty or charming, now is the time to PRETEND. Even if the guy thinks you are only average, your general awesomeness could raise you to Angelina Jolie. You should be treating this date like a job interview. This person is interviewing for potential lifemate. You wouldn't want into an office and admit to the boss that you like to slack off and are terrible at customer service. You are going to fake it until you make it. And a date should be the same way.
I am not saying you should completely misrepresent yourself. You don't want to act like someone you in no way resemble. But try to highlight your best qualities and hide some of the others, until maybe date four. Knowing I am a heinous bitch, I try to tone it down some on dates and instead channel that into either self deprecating or dry wit. I know bitchy is not my best foot forward.
If anyone has been watching this season of the Bachelorette, Bachelor Ryan is the perfect example of this. He is a handsome, fit and well mannered gentleman. Emily has been intrigued by him since the beginning and he made a wonderful first impression. It is only now, that competition is getting smaller and he is confident of his foothold that he is allowing the real Ryan to come out (and real Ryan expresses himself through gems like "If you let yourself go I would still love you, I just wouldn't love ON you"). Yet he is still around, because she is still trying to decide whether to believe first impressions or not.
I am sure there are special qualities about you, that make you uniquely you. But your date doesn't need to know, day one, that your life goal is to raise kittens and share them with orphans in Africa. That's not interesting, that's scary. So try to be mysterious sexy Angelina, not the Angelina who wears blood and makes out with her brother. First impressions are everything.
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