My cousin's ex wife really didn't like me. As much as I would like to think the whole world revolves around me, she didn't much like his mother, sister or aunt either. But she especially didn't appreciate our relationship. She felt we were too close. My cousin was a soldier in the Army while I was nannying in Wyoming. As a live in nanny I had a fairly decent savings and during my chats with my cousin, he had mentioned that things were a little dull at the base he was at, because he was on shift overnight. So I decided to buy him a Nintendo DS to boost his downtime.I thought it would be something nice to do, considering he was serving overseas and even with my online shopping addiction I could definitely afford it. For her, this was the catalyst. She used this as "proof" that our relationship was inappropriate and ordered him to sever contact.
At the time, this both disgusted me and pissed me off. Just because she was from some backwoods in NH, where it was apparently okay to harbor those feelings about a relative, did not mean we all did. But over time, as I got (slightly) more mature and became further removed from the situation, I realized that was probably not exactly what she was afraid of.
Women have this innate competition with each other. It doesn't matter if it is competing with your sister over parents' affection, competing with your friends over men or even competing with a complete stranger walking by about fashion sense. Most women are constantly judging and critiquing. Knowing that at any given moment, other women could be comparing you sets up the mentality that everyone must be judging all the time. So while she most likely wasn't worried that my cousin and I were about to embark on a blistering affair, she probably did have a little insecurity about the fact that she was a homemaker without her own source of income and couldn't afford a few hundred dollar purchase just because. She also encouraged him to cut ties with his sister and mother. She just had this deep rooted need to be number one in his life and couldn't face the belief someone else might take that spot over.
A set of brothers I know share a house. The older brother has a live-in girlfriend. The younger brother actually introduced the two and they used to all be close. Now that the younger brother has a girlfriend who occasionally stays over. This enrages the live in girlfriend. She claims this is disrespectful to her. But in actuality she doesn't care for the competition. When she was the only female in the house, she was the alpha. Now that another girl has entered the picture, it has become an unspoken competition. Even if it is seemingly innocent comments such as "Girlfriend 2 really bakes a delicious cake", women will take it as a passive dig at their own cooking abilities.
If you are the victim of such insecurities then it helps to know the root of all evil. Perhaps knowing the real reason for such behavior will help you rise above and be the bigger person. Or even reason with the wacko. If you are aforementioned wacko, be honest with yourself for your motivations to not like someone. Not everything is a contest in life and you can only control how others view you by controlling your behavior. Stop being so insecure and using that to focus on what seems like inconsequential details.
Because if you really are worried that your husband will cheat on you with his cousin, girl, just let him go. You do not need that incestuous crazy in your life.
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