Shit I Wish Girls Knew About Being a Bitch

    I get called a bitch on a pretty regular basis. As a joke and in all seriousness. By my friends, by strangers, even my dad has been known to throw it out during our arguments. And you know what? I AM a bitch.
    There has been some sort of feminist movement in the past decade or so to try to claim back the word "bitch" to be a strong, independent woman. Or people will say, well nobody would call her a bitch if she was a man. And they're right. If she was a man, she would be a dick. To me a strong independent woman is just that. A bitch on the other hand, is a bitch.
     I like to think that I am smarter than the average human and instead of using my powers for good, I use them for evil. I always have some quick, snarky comeback or insult. And while my comments are usually hilarious they are almost always mean. And I know it. This doesn't mean I am not a good person. I do volunteer work, I give to charity and I have literally carried an old lady's groceries home. But for whatever reason I am just mean to those around me.
    I really wish that I hadn't grown up in the nineties when that whole "strong, independent woman" belief was being fostered. Or that one of my friends had sat me down and told me to stop being such a bitch. Really it is not an attractive quality. As long as I know that...

    Nobody really likes listening to gossip. Along the same lines of "if he will cheat WITH you..." is the principle of "if she will gossip WITH you". Any time you start any story with "Well I wasn't supposed to say anything" or "I shouldn't tell you but..." the person you are talking to cannot help but wonder if you share their secrets with everyone. People may love to get the dish from you but they are reviewing everything they have ever told you mentally and are vowing to not tell you any new information in the future.
    The worst part about gossip is unfortunately, that it isn't always true. If it is true I try to suscribe to the theory of "they shouldn't have done it if they didn't want everyone talking about it". I am blessed with friends who take every unfortunate episode that I have ever had and share it with EVERY SINGLE PERSON THEY MEET (they still tell the story of when I farted at a slumber party TEN years ago, complete with noise re-enactment). But at the same time I feel this makes me a stronger person. Or I don't do things if I know they will be super embarrassing later on. But what about that uncomfortable rumor that you just can't put to bed? The one that isn't even true. When it is about you, you can't help but get so frustrated and wonder why people won't SHUT UP! And then the next time a juicy rumor comes around you are the first one spreading it around without any thought to its truthfulness. Maybe it is a little bit of what goes around comes around...
        There is also a common misconception that girls in relationships and girls with close guy friends all seem to fall prey to. You want to be close to the men in your life. This often means sharing the minute details of your life and day. Even if that is some hot gossip about your sister's boyfriend's cousin that you just have to share! Newsflash...MEN DO NOT CARE! They really don't. This is something I hear all the time. I don't know if it is because men are less shallow than us or what, but most of the time most of the straight men I know really don't want to be engaged in a discussion about something they really could not care less about and gossip is definitely one of those topics. If this is the only thing you try to talk about with your guy, he is going to start to reevaluate your relationship, be it friendship or romantic, because no one wants to be bored all of the time.
          The same thing goes for cattiness. Bitch or not, most girls have a tendency to tear down other people. It may not be mean spirited but it usually comes off that way to men. And I hate to break it to you ladies, catty is NOT cute. On a daily basis I find myself judging other people. It could be on their clothes, their looks, what comes out of their mouth, really nothing is off bounds for me. And I usually let loose with my opinions (some recent observations, "I hate shorts with tights, just wear pants!" and "It makes me uncomfortable when obese people complain about working out on Facebook") to whomever is around me. Or even who is reachable by text. (Remember, I fully admitted to being a bitch) And no matter how well you know me, those judgements just reflect poorly on me.
        So remember, if you want to be a strong female who handles her business, by all means, do so. But don't lie to yourself that treating people like crap isn't being an utter bitch.